say hello, say hello

i went for a job interview today.
i feel like this place takes themselves way too seriously, but what the hell. i need money. it fits into my b&n schedule, which i'm apparently keeping from now till forever since chris sat me down and said newsstand looks amazing and our sales have gone up since i started fixing it a month or so ago. a tiny bit of validation was all i needed to not rip my steering wheel off my car today.


anyway.
i was doing some thinking in the car, which is the only place i really think besides the shower....
i haven't called my grandpa to wish him a happy birthday. his birthday was january 10th. i know that makes me a super asshole, but every time i talk to them they totally make me feel like slitting my wrists for not having a career job yet. i'm supposed to have my entire life figured out because they had their entire lives figured out by 20.
this quarter life crisis that i heard john mayer sing about when i was 19 or so, and have heard about more and more since then, it's really awful. you graduate from college and if you don't have an immediate high-paying job, your family thinks of you as a failure. nevermind that the economy has gone to shit thanks to the president that some of them helped elect, and i'm supposed to be above that or some shit. but i'm supposed to have my entire life figured out now, and i'm not even okay with the idea of starting that life already. i'm 23. i have no fucking clue what to do with my life. everyone i know that has a high (compared to retail bullshit) paying job totally hates it, but they choose to live at home and their parents stay out of their way. i want to get out, my parents are up my ass, and at this point i'm convinced i will never make enough to get out, i'll end up living in their basement with gatsby and turning into the comic book guy, except he ran his own business so he can still be considered mildly successful.



i severely dislike my life.